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Great Northwest By:JL

From the suburbs of southern California to a small town in the great northwest of Idaho.

It was a culture change for me from one to another. In comparison, the environment was so different, the warm nights of California to the fresh beauty of the northwest. Tall fur trees vs palm trees.

New people of the country side, the wooded mountains surrounding us. Waking up to the dew each morning.

The smell of fresh air. The folks in their bib overalls, and loggers in their suspenders.

The cafe and property my folks bought there. As we arrived our first stop was trying out the food and having breakfast in our new cafe. A regular quaint, casual cafe with a bar attached. Cabins around for people to rent. The bunk house in the back for seasoning loggers to stay while they were working. The school right next to the property, which was kindagardin thru the twelfth grade. A very small school. Montana’s boarder was less then a mile up the road. We were near rivers and lakes, and the Canadian boarder.
Spent much of my time assisting my parents and helping out in the café. I helped my mother clean the bunk house for the loggers when they were not there, some of them were sloppy, leaving a mess. We made all the beds hospital style, and there was quite a few of them. My older sisters were waitresses and cooked from time to time, bar tended. The funniest thing my mother did one day is she fired one of the waitresses, but the funny thing about it was what it was for. This particular person did not shave her under arms and she would ware tank tops, so it was very noticeable. Well sjhe was wiping off the tables, and my mother saw her taking the wash rag and wiping her under arms, then proceeded to clean the rest of the tables off with the same wash rag. She also fired my sister Jeannette one time for serving something she wasn’t supposed to. My sister said, “you can’t fire me I am your daughter”. Certain things you just don’t do running a business. I think she let both of them back after a while, But made darn sure they didn’t do stuff that could get the place shut down.

We lived in the house behind the café, my two older sisters shared a cabin, and my two older brothers shared another cabin on the property. Getting to know the other kids in town, they became like family. For entertainment we hung out on the school steps, and antagonized the local law enforcement there that said we could not hang out on the school steps anymore. Also, the bunk house on our property or had bon fire parties in the woods. We camped, went swimming a lot in the summer time, horse back riding, and being wild and crazy at times. They had a fun center for a time, until it was shut down. This is where all us kids hung out and played pool and the pin ball machines there at the end of the town. Never a boring moment.

After a while I got sick of restaurant food because that is where we ate all the time, and when I ate over at a friend’s house it was like going out to dinner for me.
I was so used to cooking on a fry grill when I cooked on a stove top it felt foreign. The cafe had old fashion equipment there, Peeling big Idaho spud potatoes using a heavey duty french fry slicer with a big handle. An old fashion milk shake machine that made the best milkshakes.
It was hard when my family sold the place I was close to the people there, and we were heading back to my parent’s home town in Berea Ohio to stay with my grandmother for a while. That is another story in itself.


SHE -Caught up in a web of deception-By:JL

In the glitter depth within her heart, she worries about the days to come.

She holds onto her lover ardently and tries not to get caught up to whole heartedly.

She is caught up in a web of emotional deception and despair. Her soul has taken a toll and she weeps every day.

She no longer cares about finding true love’

She asked herself, “what is true love anyways”

Searching the depth of her soul she should be letting go, but continues to remain in a tenacious grip that makes her trip. Not readily relinquishing her position, letting it control and being dispositioned.

She wonders why she can’t move on, is it because of love or an emotional bond?

Is it wrong, is it right, should she put up a fight or just leave his sight.

Should she leave it all behind and hope to spiritually find what really matters most, without losing her mind or just be kind.

She avoids the pain that hinders her gain, so she sits on a fence that sits up high afraid to jump off and touch the sky.

She knows in her heart  what is meant to be will be. She could be you, she could be me.

She sits and wonders what it is she is meant to be. She is just a girl who wants to be free.

Tenacious– Also posted on daily word prompts- hit show above when using small devices to find Daily Prompts😊

Acceptance: – Daily Prompt By:JL

She grows up hiding herself from others to be able to see all her insecurities  and fears that have been in bedded in her deeply from the negative forces that surrounded her as a youth. Feeling if they saw that it would be bad. Putting on a face of normalcy and strength.

She goes with the flow of life and has just a few true friends. She puts up a wall only allowing others to get so close to her.  She didnt know how to love or be loved. Somwhat reclusive in her ways, but yet searching to find herself and know who she is, a loner. Focusing  on mostly what she is supposed to do, and who she takes care of. A young mother, a full time job with the obstacles of life’s ups and downs. Looking for happiness and not always in the right places or faces.

As a young person worried about being accepted by others and often felt she wasn’t. Believing the lies of what others    perceived her to be as a youth, and others being  illicit to the truth. A real struggle at times. Hindered intellectually and in  emotional bond- age and being manipulated by others. Being young can be a living hell for some at times.

As time passes and mistakes are made, thoughts change. Acceptance of self is learned, a process. A daily cleansing  from a negative to a more possitive self. A realization, and letting go, and opening your eyes to what’s real, what matters and how you want to be for you, and realize you can’t befriend everyone and not everyone you meet will accept you, accept that.

Time is on our side, I see times have changed also. Acceptance is taught more of others by parents, and teachers, work places then ever before. So much more is brought out in the open, bullying, abuse is not tolerated, nor harassment even though it still happens, it’s not accepted in most places. Leaving no child behind has been introduced. People stepping up more to protect others.  Not a perfect world, but it helps to find what strengthen you and choosing healthy relationships and letting go of toxic people in your life, or good mind perspective for yourself when around intolerable mean people, and not let them rule your life or still your joy. Although, this can be somewhat  challenging depending on the situation weighing it out, and picking your battles, that’s acceptance or putting up with a job your not particularly fond of, but you have to pay the bills.  Acceptance of that until something better comes along and hope it does.

However, accepting a loss can be quite different and dealing with the pain or losing someone unexpectedly. It’s still a process, and we all know that we all go through life and death, that’s a reality. I always like the serenity prayer.

‘God grant me the serenity  to  accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference’.   Amen

Claim Your Wild

Become the wild, unbridled expression of feminine rage and passion. It must rise from the belly of the collective’s deepest wound. The burnt at the stake, raped and pillaged, shamed and scarlet shadowed suppression.
Beckon the roar of the dragon in the womb of patriarchal denial of the creatrix. Wake up the beast from the old destruction, lean into the sword of truth’s blade and slice through the scales of your calloused buried tenderness.
Have faith in the power of the boundless vulnerability. Be seen. You are softness and pure innocent light. You are stardust manifest in creation’s expression of beauty.
You are sensual captivation.
Pour forth mistress, let your voice screech and shatter the bulletproof casing around your most sacred spaces. Unleash her power, stand alongside the protectors of the watery and drenched Earthbodies.

We are ashes no more.
We rise.
We are dancers of the light.

Nichole Desjardins