So many reasons to not feel you are enough from others. So many reasons to pull away from people that you think are your friends or family. So many reasons to fall apart. So many reasons to not keep pushing to be your truest self.
It’s crazy what life can throw at you & how it can make you feel, act, or respond. The past two years has been such a learning curve for me. Honestly, so many changes, but also so many reasons why I would want to throw in the towel on so many people or things.
I suffer from depression & anxiety. My whole life I have suffered & conquered through these things that feel so fucking deep, you feel know one can, will, or wants to understand you. People literally have said to me, “just be normal or just be happy.” It’s beyond frustrating & really has lead to this post. If you’re still reading this thank you, if not, that’s your decision & I respect that. Again, not everyone can or will understand what I’m feeling or care for that matter & again that’s ok. I just wanted to maybe speak for others who are also suffering from these illnesses.
Its takes so much work & commitment to fight against something that is constant. Which in turn can make you feel either powerful & strong or weak & discouraged & worst of all, feeling not enough for anyone or anything. I do feel happy a lot of the time & feel like, I got this! Then other times, I’m questioning everything.
I am not the smartest, prettiest, or the strongest or suggest that I have the answer to it all, but I love fucking hard. It may not always look pretty, but it is everything that keeps me together. And that is one thing no one can take from me.
I wish people had more compassion for people who are at a constant war within themselves. We are NOT weak humans. We are strong. So PLEASE stop thinking that.To uphold yourself in uncomfortable situations & not fall apart is so hard.
I also though, get why sometimes it’s easier to walk away or push away someone like me. It’s hard & may be uncomfortable to be around someone who’s suffering.
But what I want others to understand is we are NEVER looking for you, someone or something to solve our illness. So, if anything, YOU be normal or happy around people you know that are suffering. We are only wanting others to support us, encourage us, & stand by us in ALL that we are, not just what you want us to be or how you feel “society” thinks we should be. Stop lying to yourself or others that need you the most or pushing us away like we are some disease.
Everyone has a story. Everyone has reasons why they are who they are. Listen more. Judge less. Have more compassion for someone who is different from you or maybe even different from anyone you know or hang out with. LOVE fully. Like really love someone even if they can’t fully love themselves. Dont give up on your friends who are suffering or push them away cause that’s just easier. Its ridiculous how others try to be or look so superior towards others anymore.
I am who I am, & I’m sick of feeling like I need to act or look a certain way for others. This yes, is my own stuff & I am working every day to become more fully in tune with who I am & who God has designed me to be. I use that I suffer from these illnesses as a tool to make myself into the person I know I am meant to be.
I may have to work at it differently than you, but that is ok & I will prevail, with or without you. Love me or hate me, that is absolutely up to you. That is the glory of being your own person. Again, please just stop trying to “fix” others & work on what you can fix within yourself to have more compassion for others who are different from you. Isn’t that what makes this world so incredible?? We are not meant to be like everyone else. We all have our stories to share & make this world worth living in. Please support others & not take them down with your own selfishness & judgement.
I am enough. Praise Jesus, I am enough.
By: Jenny R.